As the boys argued in the WhatsApp group about what to wear in the graduation ceremony, I suddenly realized.
It is, truly, once and for all, over.
There will be no geography classes ever again. There won't be any uniform. There won't be any 5 hour long multiple choice test. There will be no "good morning" from the 15 incredible and exquisite human beings who survived the last four years with me, and who dealt with my daily drama.
And the boys went on and on, talking about how cool suits are. How they felt good using it, how they should be all dressed up with ties and everything. Again, a new conclusion.
When did I stop paying attention to the passing of time? How did 4 years go by so quickly, and without warning? How come were those boys, who once tried to be the furthest away from ties they could, now defending not only the use of it, but the color coordination too?!
It came like a stroke. Those weren't boys anymore. I was witnessing men defending suits.
On the night of the fourteenth, I saw women walking in their high heels and thanking their teachers. I saw men standing up and applauding the choir. I saw women entering the auditorium in their graduation caps.
As I stood in line, waiting for my photo to be taken, I couldn't do anything but laugh with a bit of an early nostalgia. The 17 year old man behind me asked the whole room, if anybody knew how to properly arrange a tie. The 17 year old woman in front of me suggested him to check a video on YouTube. He told us he watched three at home, but still couldn't do it.
His friend helped him, said he had to close all buttons in his shirt, including the one near the Adam's apple, to use the tie.
And I just stood there, watching the development of the argument about how wrong the choice of shirt in that case was. It was too small, too dark, too so many things.
I thought of my father. My brother. My uncle. My best friend's cousin. All the other students graduating with me. And I looked once more at the man who couldn't tie a tie.
There stood a man right after his metamorphosis, alongside all the other undergraduate adults.
New born adults, with so, so much to learn.
I saw adults, right after our last childhood breathe.